I've had a nice, relaxing and yet productive day so far ,,, made some really good progress with my clothes in the garage that need to be sold. That alone feels like a giant weight off. And yet ...
I came in to pay some bills and check out my account online, and found that I have very little money in my checking account until a transfer comes through that I made last night. And instantly, I'm looking at what's available on my credit cards so I can go buy something, or order something online. To make me feel better, I'm willing to spend even more money on things I don't need, or even want. Why do I do that??
It was the same with drinking, and is the same today with eating. Anytime I get uncomfortable, or feel judgemental about myself, my choices and decisions, I want to do something destructive, telling myself ,,,, well I don't know what I'm telling myself. Or maybe I shut my inner voice down, I just eat/drink/shop to drown it out, make it shut up.
Metamorphosis
No comments:
Post a Comment