So I've gone through a 12 month health coaching program, and thought sure that opening a consulting practice was what life had planned for me. My intention was to use my combination of knowledge and experience to coach other cancer survivors to discover what true health, holistic health, meant for them so they wouldn't need to repeat their cancer experience. I've known from the time I was diagnosed that my cancer didn't need to have happened, and there are emotional reasons it did. Louise Hay says cancer is an unwillingness to release something, to let go. I've been thinking about that a lot, and working on digging into what that might be for me.
I could also see myself lecturing, maybe offering workshops, on discovering true health. Possibly writing a book about my experiences.
But today I was pondering all of that on my drive to get some blood drawn to check my hormone level (which didn't happen, someone wasn't well trained on blood draws, frustrating and painful). And what came to me, what I realized, is that future still doesn't feel real. By that I mean, I sense that's not yet what this is all about, what I'm meant to be doing with my life. I have faith, so much more than I used to, that my job is just to keep moving forward. The ultimate plan is not mine to figure out or know.
What I do know, and feel with more conviction every passing day, is that my getting sober is the key to everything. That my true destiny could never have come to pass without this huge piece falling into place. Keeping the faith, moving forward, taking things one day at a time, and continuing to work on loving myself ,,, those are my intentions for now. Not always easy, but a lot of potential positive outcomes.
Snowy and cold today, getting a lot of cleaning out done around the house, feels good. Not going to my women's 12-step workshop, roads too risky. Just staying in and enjoying the down time ,,, nothing lasts forever, so being really present and enjoying the moment for just what is, that's the ticket. :-)
Metamorphosis
I can completely relate to your comments about Louise Hay. Her book You Can Heal Your Life is one of my go-to references.
ReplyDeleteThanks Vivian. It's one of my go to references as well. Funny because I have my Mom's old dog eared copy of it, and I was never interested in reading it myself. It was "her thing", not mine. But now that she's gone, and with my own issues coming up, I'm realizing how similar my mom and I were after all. Pretty cool
ReplyDelete