Pivotal moment

I wanted to share something that happened a week or so ago, a moment which the farther I get away from, the more pivotal I can see it really was.

Recently, I took an equine guided vision journey with my amazing business coach.  She lives in a mountain town on a gorgeous piece of land with her family, other assorted animals and these four beautiful, amazing horses.  One of the horses, Destiny, reached out and touched my heart the minute I saw her.  She was all white and so beautiful, soulful eyes and an attentive, watchful, intuitive nature about her.  She was one of two mares but definitely the lady in charge ... I loved watching her correct then nurture the other horses, and us humans too.  :-)

On the second of our two-day weekend retreat, we took turns in the round pen, pondering a question ... something we each wanted answered for ourselves, something that was relative to where we are in our lifes journey.  The horses were allowed to come into the pen if they chose to during my session, and I was elated that they all four chose to be with me.  I shared that since my cancer journey 3+ years ago, I have been struggling to get back my joy, my excitement over life, the feeling of being fully alive and exhileration over being here.  Tears and then sobs came, as I allowed myself to feel those feelings of being lost, confused about life and what comes next, the struggle to find my place once again in this world.  All the horses really showed up for me, but Destiny especially surrounded me with her protective body and energy, she stayed very close to me, letting me encircle her neck with my arms and just lean onto her body, showing me her heart space repeatedly.

At one point, I was asked to step out of the round pen, seeing it as a symbolic stepping out of my comfort zone, being willing to just do that much.  It took me a minute or two to summon up my courage, and I sobbed all over again ... it felt so much deeper than just what it was, it felt very symbolic to me.  As I moved forward finally, I could feel Destiny right behind me, touching but not really pushing, just letting me know I wasn't alone.  She stayed right behind me the whole time, and when I finally felt like I could go back in, she blocked the gate with her body, as if to say "just stay here for a while, become comfortable in your discomfort, it's ok, I'm here".  We all laughed at that - laughter through tears is such a beautiful feeling.  My coach knew the depth of my emotions, and she asked me how that felt, and did I see and feel the symbolism taking place there.  I did ... believe me, I did.  And that feeling of knowing that it's going to be ok if I take chances, risks and face some of my discomforting fears, knowing that I will have support and that I won't be alone, has stayed with me, in a very profound way.  It started a huge shift for me, one that has continued since then.  I think constantly of that moment, that horse and what happened when I was willing to just take a step forward, with no control over an outcome ... life showed up in the form of beautiful Destiny.  I hold that feeling like a precious butterfly that has landed on me, gracing me with it's strength and beauty, filling my heart with love and a deep knowing that I'm safe, even when I'm willing to feel unsafe.

Filled with gratitude for what I am learning, what life and God is showing me, and all the beautiful teachers He is surrounding me with.

Hugs and much love to all,
Allita