Addictions

Boy, I'm still wrestling with this part of my personality.  This morning, I left an AA meeting, feeling perfectly even keeled, went to Whole Foods and bought a morning bun.  If you don't know what those are, and there's really no reason you should, they are a spiral rolled, doughy & yeasty baked flour & sugar bun that is kind of crispy on the outside, soft & mushy as you get closer to the middle, and glazed with orange flavor.  One of the yummiest things on the planet in my opinion.  And I sat in my car in the parking lot and just inhaled all of it, enjoying the pleasure it brought to my mouth.  All the while telling myself I would NOT eat the whole thing.  

Why this is hitting an addiction for me is that I KNOW eating that bun is going to put me in pain & misery later ,,, I can NOT digest wheat flour and sugar is like poison in my body.  I'll be in the bathroom all night, doubled over in pain and plagued with diarrhea.  So, knowing this will be the outcome, why do I do things like that??  Is it as simple as just wanting to enjoy the pleasurable taste sensations?  If it were, wouldn't I be able to stop at half and not wolf down the whole thing, stuffing it in my mouth as fast as possible, before reason could take over?  I don't think so ... food, especially food that isn't good FOR me but tastes good TO me, is one of my addictions.  And evidently, unlike alcohol & cocaine, this is one I still haven't surrendered my powerlessness over.  More to be revealed.