Thankfully, Friday

Wow, it's been a very intensely emotional week.  Normally, in my current lifestyle, Friday's have been feeling like any other day of the week when they used to be my favorite day.  But this week, I'm feeling a profound sense of relief that Friday is here, that I don't have a lot of "must do's" today or the whole weekend, and that I can finally feel my breath letting out.

First of all I have to say I got a facial yesterday, and she did some really deep extractions (removing blackheads with some torturous little metal instrument) that really HURT!  Still hurting today.

Okay, got that off my chest.  A friend of mine in recovery, who just had six months of not drinking under her belt, went out and drank last weekend and is, apparently, still drinking.  It's hard to watch that happen, and even harder to watch what it's doing to their daughter who is just a teenager.  I can see what this is doing to her (the daughter), at least some of it, but I don't think they can.  The whole situation has hurt my heart this week, and while I didn't feel my sobriety was being threatened, my serenity sure was.  But I'm doing much better today, and have finally come to realize that it's not my job or my right to try and "save" someone, that is Gods job and He is so much better at it than I ever was or thought I was.

The gift that this has brought to me is a profound reminder of how close I am, we all are in recovery, to that darkness that was/is our addiction.  I know my friend is in a very dark place right now, and if I could shine a light in there for her, I would.  But I know for sure that I don't ever want to go back into that darkness.  I was driving up to a hair appointment yesterday, and hearing the news that she was still out drinking, and my heart just sunk.  But in that moment, as I was driving, texting (which I know I shouldn't have been) and feeling so confused, I could feel Gods presence with me, like He was sitting right there beside me in the car, all around me and inside me.  It was very powerful, and I believe He was letting me know that He is taking care of her and not to let her darkness steal my light.  So I've reached out to other women in the program in the last few days, gone to a few meetings, met with my sponsee and let her know that she's slipping into risky territory too.  All of those things have helped put me back into a good place.  I can't change my friends trajectory, but I can keep myself on track and by doing so, maybe I can shine some light into her darkness.

On an exciting front, I've been asked to write a blog entry for a mental health provider's website about my journey thus far (part of it anyway).  That's so cool, and I'm so flattered to be asked.

AND I finally finished Menopause The Poem last night!! I'll post it later, been working on it for a few months.  :-)

I believe that's all for today my friends, have a blessed weekend.  We are finally into the 80's here this weekend and lots of sunshine.  I intend to ride my bike, walk my dogs and just be.  <3